Nick has to represent Levi who may not be allowed in school for not telling who beat him up.
Jack tries to deal with the annoying tourists who have begun showing up at the Osbournes' house since the show became a hit. He uses remote control sprinklers to encourage the trespassers to leave the premises. Ozzy and Sharon travel to Washington, D.C. to attend the White House Correspondents Dinner. The president mentions Ozzy during his remarks, prompting Ozzy to stand and salute the crowd. He immediately travels to London the next day, while Sharon returns to Los Angeles to watch Kelly perform ""Papa Don't Preach"" at the MTV Movie Awards. Kelly believes that Jack is jealous of her success, but he seems genuinely excited for her as he watches her performance. Jack also tracks one of his favorite actresses, Natalie Portman, and gets to sit on her lap. Kelly moves to New York for a few months to work on her album. As Sharon travels with her, she comments on the family's success and expresses her fear that something terrible will come along to bring them back to earth.
The cases of Harmon Rabb, former Navy fighter pilot, and his fellow lawyers of the U.S. Navy's Judge Advocate General's office.
Paul becomes quick friends with his new editor Nick when he discovers they both are married fathers of teenage girls. But Paul soon learns that they both have the reputation of being an overprotective psycho dad. Meanwhile, Paul wants to make Thanksgiving a family affair, and forbids Bridget and Kerry from inviting their boyfriends.
Buffy and the gang capture and interrogate Spike and Andrew.
When Eric decides to buy Donna a meaningful gift, he ends up getting her an engagement ring. But after discussing it with the guys, he realizes they are too young and the ring was a bad idea. Unfortunately, Eric already told Donna he got her a surprise and on their special evening out, he's put on the spot and forced to make the biggest decision of his life. Meanwhile, in an attempt to lift menopausal Kitty's spirits, Red gets her a dog: Schotzy.
Doug loans Carrie to Deacon to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner. When Deacon ditches her for Holly's services, his web of lies soon gets out of control. Trying to cover it up, Doug continues to dig a hole for himself.
In hopes of raising his little sister Delia's spirits, Ephram does his best to recreate his mother's Thanksgiving traditions as the Brown family spends their first holiday without her. Meanwhile, in order to save a patient's life, Dr. Brown must find the man's missing brother, who is believed to live in the woods; and curmudgeonly Dr. Abbott attempts to befriend the entire town when he has a health scare and questions whether anyone would attend his funeral.
Horatio, Speedle and Calleigh root through the evidence in the homocide of a strange, and unorthodox college professor when they find him tied to a tree. Elsewhere, Delko and Megan investigate a car found in the water with a dead body in the trunk, and immediately suspect an insurance scam.
Nikki and Andell infiltrate the L.A. Lakers locker room to get an autographed jersey from Shaquille O'Neal after the one belonging to Professor Oglevee is ruined. Meanwhile, Kim takes in a stray dog.
Mona and Phyllis attend Thanksgiving dinner at Big Dee Dee's, where Mona's grandmother is the guest of honor. But Dee Dee becomes jealous when she learns the older woman showers Mona with affection. Meanwhile, Phyllis and Big Dee Dee make a deal; and Spencer blurts out one of Mona's secrets to her mother.
After he accidently injures pro-football player Michael Irvin during an interview, Flex is targeted by a stalker. Meanwhile Breanna's plans to be named sophomore queen at the Harvest Moon Dance may go for naught when an overly paranoid Flex restricts her and himself to the apartment. WWE Superstar Big Show guest stars as Flex' bodyguard.
Toni realizes she has fallen for Todd after he protects her during an altercation with a man on the street, but is still reluctant to date him because of his size. Joan is appalled when Ellis rates her only a 5.5 on looks on a scale of one to ten.
Tyr receives a communication from a human on an abandoned planet and leaves to meet her. As he does, a mad scientist boards the Andromeda using dark matter ninjas. After beating them, the man introduces himself. He loves the woman Tyr is with and wants to kill her, if he cant have her, nobody can. After saving her, he forgives her and lets her live. The episode ends with Tyr revealing that she is actually a Neitzian, the last female from Codiac, Tyrs pride. He says that he wants them to start a new Codiac pride but she refuses and Tyr leaves.
When the Read family car breaks down, Arthur is heartbroken. He wants to save the vehicle before his parents replace it.
While Raymond, Robert, and Frank don't want to bring up the fact that Marie is having vision trouble, Debra decides to level with her and suggests she visit an eye doctor. When Marie gets a pair of glasses just in time for the holidays, she winds up spotting and pointing out everyone's physical insecurities.
Alan makes a new friend at the BP garage called Dan. They both drink Director's bitter, use Lynx deodorant and both drive Lexi (the plural of Lexus). Dan asks Alan to present a prize at the Norfolk Bravery Awards, where Sonja is hopeful of the opportunity to try out some of her practical jokes.
When Kim and Greg decide to go on TLC's A Baby Story, they run into major problems with their parents. For example, when Kim and Greg announce that they want to name the baby Charlie if it's a boy and Lucy if it's a girl, everyone calls out with their own picks for a girl. Kim's dad wants the baby to be named Rachel, and Greg's mom wants the baby to be named Margaret if it's a girl. The baby indeed turns out to be a girl, and as Kim and Greg are about to pick the baby up from the nursery, they hear Greg's dad stating that he wished that his own daughter were named Emily after his aunt who practically raised him. After overhearing this, Kim and Greg decide to name the baby Emily.
In the midst of a career crisis and much to Annie's dismay, Eric takes a job as a talk DJ at a college radio station, but things become serious fast when Eric and his producer find themselves counseling a male student who calls in threatening suicide during his first shift. Lucy refuses to spend time with Roxanne which puts Kevin in an impossible situation. Later on, Roxanne asks her boss to assign her a new partner as tensions simmer between her and Lucy. Ben is almost arrested when he accompanies Simon and Cecilia to an underage club. Ruthie tries to figure out a way to breakup with her boyfriend without making him cry.