A princess flies into town with the express purpose of having a date with Keith. They find it difficult to act natural around each other until the princess tells all to relax. Keith & the princess manage to slip away from bodyguards.
Fred's cousin arrives with his new wife and his not-so-attractive stepdaughter, Betty Jean. When Fred finds out that she will inherit $10,000 if she marries, he tries to fix it so that Lamont will marry her. However, Fred's plan backfires when Lamont catches on to his scheme.
A friend of Harry's insists on doing a dangerous skydiving trick despite the fact that gold smugglers are trying to kill him.
After a murder is committed in a San Francisco park, the Chief takes part in a live TV broadcast in the hope of provoking such a panic in his prime suspect that the man will make a mistake, or lead Ed to some hard evidence.
The Family cow, Chance gives birth to a healthy calf but John announces that it must be sold to make ends meet. Elizabeth and Jim Bob hide the Calf to save it. John relents and the family keeps the calf.
The trio believes that plastic surgery may be the best way to rehabilitate a disfigured girl caught shoplifting.
The multi-million dollar Phoenix, prototype for a revolutionary new car, disappears from a non-stop train en route to Boston - flat-car included. Banacek is called in to find the missing vehicle before a huge insurance claim must be paid.
Jamie's friend, Ted Hoag, is unfairly blamed for the death of another young fellow during a club initiation. In the end, it's a lesson in responsibility for the boys of Virginia City School.
A private investigator, Sam Tolliver, arrives from Texas to help an old friend who is being blackmailed and is at risk of being killed if he doesn't pay up, but he ends up wanting to become part of the blackmail operation.
Maude hires a new housekeeper, Florida Evans, and from the moment she walks through the front door, Maude is determind to make her feel like an equal. However, her attempts lead Florida to decide to quit. Meanwhile, Walter is a bit disturbed to find Philip swearing into a tape recorder.
Lucy Carter, a widow with two teen children, takes a job as a secretary for her stuffy brother-in-law.
There is much jubilation at the departure of "Clarkey", the foreman of the factory where Eddie and Bill work. The Management decide that it will serve their interests best if they promote their most idle, difficult, loudmouthed and bigoted troublemaker. The choice is obvious.
A sorcerer hires a translator to divine the meaning of an ancient Arabic manuscript that has some grisly connection with his twin brother's death.
"To Market, to Market" is the second episode of M*A*S*H. It was first aired on September 24, 1972 and repeated on April 29, 1973. Like many other M*A*S*H episodes, this one parodies army bureaucracy. Thieves hold up a truck load of medical supplies for the 4077, thus rendering them in desperate need of Hydrocortisone. In retaliation, Hawkeye and Trapper meet with a notorious black marketer, hoping to get some replacements. When they realize they have nothing reasonable to trade with him, they go to drastic measures to get what they need.
Mary is interviewed by a newspaper columnist and ends up telling a little too much.
Archie is audited by the IRS after he fails to report income he made driving Munson's taxicab.