Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV.
Hiro and Ando's trek into the future leads them to meet some of the heroes as they are five years later, after the nuclear fallout. This includes a darker side of Matt, a Jessica/Niki with a clear winner in their battle, a brown-haired Claire, and a man named Andy, who's a big hearted Texan. It also features an event at an upscale gentleman's club.
When Chris secretly listens to his parents' comedy albums, he discovers that telling dirty jokes to his classmates is the key to popularity. Drew has to deal with an unwanted admirer in the neighborhood; and Rochelle decides to find her mother a man.
Thinking that Bob Barker may be his father, Barney is overjoyed to be a contestant on The Price is Right. Marshall and Lily try sleeping apart prior to the wedding.
When one of Horatio's team lets their personal problems contaminate the investigation involving a spurned ex-lover, Horatio has to fire that team member.
Eldon finds himself forced to choose between Lynn and the church. Joan and Aaron have their first big fight. Maya and Darnell sell their house.
A family feud erupts when a rich and lonely old woman, Dorothy Hepple, is found dead in her home. Dorothy leaves all her money and property to her beloved cats, rather than her nephew, Harry, and niece, Caroline. Her body lay undiscovered for two weeks and the cause of death is undetermined, but the fact that her cats were deliberately locked in the house, forcing them to start eating their owner's remains and any evidence, makes Jack suspicious. There appears to have been no love lost between the late Ms Hepple and her neighbour, Tim Cuswell. Meanwhile her carer, Dale , seems to have been devoted to her, his motives are questionable. When the last of Dorothy's feline beneficiaries dies, her estate suddenly comes up for grabs. With no shortage of people laying claim to the estate, the team decides to reopen the investigation into Dorothy's death.
Carrie's ecstatic when an affordable apartment opens in Manhattan, but Doug's reluctant to leave Queens. Arthur meets singer Ava St. Clair.
Five teenagers must locate and secure ancient relics with unbelievable power, while at the same time stop a demonic corporation who want the relics for their power.
Reilly asks for help after he's ordered to vacate his building, prompting Tommy to uncover hidden family history. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Joanie struggle to situate Whitey's body.
On their way to Ritchie's desert camping trip, Christine, Richard, Matthew, and Barb stay at a seedy motel and get on each others' nerves.
Orel is chosen by Principal Fakey to represent Diorama Elementary in the Praying Bee competition. Stressing out and unable to pray, Orel finds himself turning to the Buddhist method of meditation.
The team searches for Chris Manning, a family court judge with a soft side who went missing after meeting with a young boy caught between his mother and his abusive father. Suspicion initially turns anyone Manning may have riled up due to his court rulings, but after his clerk is shot in what appears to be an attempt on Manning's life, the team learns that the secret behind Manning's disappearance is tied up with something that happened over twenty years earlier.
Bubbles and the boys get to meet heavy metal singer Sebastian Bach when they travel to Maine to attend a model train convention.
With plans for another child, Lucy tells Kevin that it might not be a good idea to move so far away from the rest of the family. T-Bone confides to Eric that he's having second thoughts about breaking up with Ruthie, who is spending all of her free time lately with her former crush, Martin. Sandy's boyfriend surprises her with a marriage proposal, and T-Bone's estranged father shows up on the Camdens' doorstep.
Bart goes from hero to goat on his Little League team after an error in the championship game. Meanwhile, Homer falls asleep on a bed in a department store. When he's awakened, he raves about the mattress and is given a job as a salesman.
Susan goes to the therapist and realizes she must choose between Ian and Mike. Travers is having a birthday party which only spells trouble for Mrs. McCluskey, Gabrielle's engagement party is upstaged by an unexpected announcement and the neighborhood is full of gossip about the dead body found on Wisteria Lane.
Vicki and Henry have a run in with Medusa, the gorgon of Greek lore. While looking for a missing male model.
Maria Spatafore requests help from Tony for Vito, Jr. Tony's bad luck puts a rift between he and Hesh. A.J. makes a major choice regarding his future.
Lois gets a job as the church organist, so the family decides to begin going back to church. When Stewie gets sick after receiving communion, the congregation becomes convinced that he has been possessed by the devil. While on the run, the family ends up in Texas, where Peter begins to fit right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant, and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.