Artie pushes Larry to get Ellen Degeneres to come out of the closet on their show, but Larry pursues some personal research first. Beverly spoils Artie's birthday by circulating the show's budget, with everyone's salary, amongst the staff.
Stardate: Unknown. After returning from a first contact mission, Janeway, Neelix and the Doctor must retake Voyager from an infestation of microorganisms that grow to an alarming size.
Charlie decides to go to Chicago to see Kristen and leaves Julia in charge. Kristen is very happy to see him, although Ellie is not. She tells him that she wants to run away to San Francisco, but half way there she realizes she's not ready to go back and they return to Chicago. She says he's her problem. Charlie leaves her there. Julia is more concerned about her personal life than her brother and sister. Claudia claims to be sick, but Julia won't believe her until she gets a call from the hospital saying Claudia had appendicitis and had a surgery. She won't forgive Julia until she overhears how sorry she is. Bailey lies to Sarah in order not to sleep with her. He skips practice and Sarah finds a drunk Bailey passed out at his place. He tells her he slept with Callie, but they don't break up. Callie is tired of being used by Bailey.
Maggie wants a new car, but since her father won't give her one she convinces Fran to enter a beauty pageant to win one for her. In the contest, Fran has to drive a stick shift car, which she doesn't know how to, so Mr. Sheffield takes her up to the country to teach her. But Fran gets traumatized after running over a bunny, which causes her to lose the contest. To cheer her up, Maxwell invites her to go with them to the charity dinner at Barbara Streisand's house. On their way there, Mr. Sheffield has a stomachache, forcing Fran to drive. Later she realizes it was all a plan of his to make her get over her trauma. Now she has to go to Barbara's again, but to return the boot and purse she stole from her.
Steve elects to plead guilty, leaving his punishment to the lenient Chancellor Arnold. Brandon refuses to plead guilty to a crime he did not commit, and faces a hearing and possible expulsion. Randall tries to prove that Brandon knew the contents of Steve's paper by pointing out that he handed it to Muntz for delivery. He also claims that Brandon let Steve cheat off his quizzes in freshman sociology. Steve digs through the fraternity files and proves that he flunked every sociology quiz. Brandon is cleared, and Professor Randall faces charges for forging his grade ledger and lying at the hearing. Kelly throws a surprise birthday party for Mark, although he would rather be left alone. He hates the party even more when everyone ignores him and flocks to Brandon. Felice objects to Donna's renewed relationship with David, which she considers unhealthy. Dr. Martin advises Donna to follow her heart. Music: ""What You Won't D
This one starts out with arguments about Beefaroni, and Space Ghost elects the Council of Doom and Brak to judge a cooking contest. Zorak wants all of the bones for a soup, and they talk about cooking Space Ghost. One chef makes duck tacos, and another plays gymnastics with a dead chicken. Space Ghosts says it's a tie, and then blows up the Council of Doom, and finally Brak gets shot. He cries, and wants his lawyer.
Brad gets a part-time job at a sporting goods store and work soon becomes his top priority.
Martin buys Frasier an expensive painting -- but Frasier doesn't have the heart to tell his father that he hates it.
Simone and Sipowicz investigate a street shooting when witnesses name a man who is supposed to be in jail. Macey, a young man who was previously in the care of Lt. Fancy, is caught carrying drugs. Medavoy meets with more disappointment.
Alex has to decide how to handle the attention of a seventh-grade admirer. Vince sneaks into the Macks' house to spy on George's research and gets stuck in the basement.
Annie's mother arrives unexpectedly and moves in with her, to her mounting dismay, but refuses to tell her why - then confesses to Caroline that she has left Annie's father. Annie demands a showdown with her father, who in turn confesses that this is no ordinary spat: he is in love for the first time in his life with another woman. Meanwhile, Richard takes a temporary job as a gift wrapper for Macy's, but his bad attitude gets him demoted to elf; and Del and Charley become convinced that their new assistant is a psycho killer, since all the people on her resume turn out to be dead.
Iolaus' dream directs him and Hercules northward on a mission of mercy.
During Winter Solstice, Xena and Gabrielle visit a town where it's Scrooge-like King has deemed that celebrating the holiday is a crime.
All of the boarders get very curious to what is inside the very personal Mr. Smith's package.
Kimberly rejects Michael's final attempt at a reconciliation. He decides to stay with Matt for a while, but Kimberly urges Megan to get Michael back. Dan pressures Matt to move in with him. Peter turns to golf to lift his spirits when he fails to win the chief-of-staff position. Amanda puts up with his behavior, until he loses a large bet over a golf game to Kyle. Taylor convinces Peter to join her in lighting a candle in Beth's memory on the anniversary of her death. She reveals that she forged the final entry in Beth's diary so that Peter would be cleared. Arthur calls off his lawsuit when Craig threatens to reveal a family secret. Samantha abandons her studio when she realizes that Craig is expecting something in return. Sydney takes a second job as a hostess at Kyle's. Sherry meets with Jane at a mansion, and asks that she seek no further contact. Jane later discovers that Sherry actually lives in a small apartment, and tries to reach out to her mother.
Worsie wants to establish an ice cream corner in the Vetkoekpaleis but Frik doesn't want to know anything about it.
Rose senses many powers fluctuating out of control; Rose kidnaps Ken and Blanka.
A merciless driver's-ed teacher may have Matt's future in mind when he passes out grades, but Joe has only revenge in mind when he rallies Matt, Lloyd and Lou in a payback prank on the man.