The return of a Gulf War veteran and his reunion with his fiancée is marred by his big secret.
Sketches include: Madonna in "Neurotica" (cut from DVD) "Gays in the Military" (cut from DVD) "Lil' Magic: Working Girl" "Edwin O. Fay's Skin-Lightening Treatment (a.k.a. "Your Face is Your Passport")" "Dracula Meets Ugly Wanda"
Bud gets a huge money grant to go to college, but Al and Peggy spend it all on items for themselves.
(5:57 PM Felony Warrant Assistance) Pierce Co. Sheriff's Dept. - Deputy Shawn McDonald likes working there because his dad worked there as a deputy for 30 years. There's lots of good people, sometimes you run into bad guys, nice place to work, a close knit group that's real fun to work with. Felony suspect is arrested; hysterical shoplifting suspect. King Co.
Seeking revenge for the apparent death of her lover, Walter Reinhardt, Rebecca Lord toys with MacLeod before she attempts to kill him with Reinhardt's sword. Rebecca knows nothing of Immortals or their combat, and she believes MacLeod murdered Reinhardt. Unbeknownst to her, Reinhardt is still alive, and is using Rebecca in a cat and mouse game to draw out MacLeod for their final confrontation.
Teddy learns her high-school beau has AIDS; Frankie over-mothers Trevor and Evan while Georgie vacations; Alex's idol pans her writing.
After Janet asks the family to participate in Volunteer Day at the Chidren's museum, Clarissa tries to figure out a way to escape her duty of helping out.
The candidates for Genkai's apprenticeship have been narrowed to eight. Among them: Yusuke, Kuwabara, and the disguised demon Rando! Genkai announces the final test will be a tournament, fought in total darkness. And Kuwabara's first opponent is swinging a supernatural sword!
Darkwing is asked to investigate a mysterious museum find; Darkwing himself encased in amber.
A rabbi seeks to block the town from staging a religiously-themed Christmas pageant on public property. The town is shocked to learn that beloved teacher Louise Talbot, scheduled to play the Virgin Mary in the pageant, is a post-operative transsexual.
Byker Grove follows the lives and relationships of a group of young people who are members of a youth club.
A visit by Frank's boorish bud sends Carol into orbit; Cody becomes attached to a live holiday turkey he won in a raffle.
Edina is none too pleased about her 40th birthday. As opposed to the glamorous, star-studded surprise party she had hoped for, Edina is disappointed to learn that Saffron has planned a quiet lunch with family and friends—including both of Edina's ex-husbands, Justin and Marshall, and their respective new lovers, Oliver and Bo, as well as Patsy and Mother. Edina behaves erratically during the party, switching between self-pity and spite, and she soon provokes Oliver, her least favourite guest, into making an angry exit. Justin and Marshall are shocked to discover that they have both been paying alimony to Edina. While Edina and Patsy sing drunkenly on a new karaoke machine, Justin and Bo secretly plot to cut off Edina's alimony.
Brackman is distraught when the pocket watch he inherited from his father disappears; new associate Melina Paros joins the firm; Becker accepts an intricate assignment from Flicker, forcing him to deal with the manipulative wife of Flicker's silent partner; after Lincoln escapes from Benny and ends up at the pound, Markowitz takes extreme measures to get the dog released; Brackman gets a ghost writer for his autobiography; Taylor's pursuer sends her a gruesome gift, which only serves to alarm her further as she begins to suspect every man she encounters; Melman doesn't know how to handle Mullaney's new-found ardor; Paros prosecutes her final case for the State's Attorney's office as she attempts to prove that a woman may have abused her children.
Woody and Kelly argue once again about the difference in their monetary status. Kelly wants to live in a house purchased by her father. Woody, not wanting any Gaines money, wants them to live in his old apartment as that's all he can afford. They compromise, which shows them that one side might be more correct in their outlook than the other. Meanwhile, Rebecca's father, Navy Captain Franklin E. Howe, comes to Boston for a visit. A tough as nails man and father, he demands that Rebecca, who has screwed up her life in Boston, move back to San Diego into her old room at their house. Apparently, he has controlled her her entire life, including providing her with an allowance. He expects that Rebecca will put up a fight and demand to live her life in Boston as she sees fit. Captain Howe has an ulterior motive for his visit to Boston of which Rebecca is unaware. If she knew her father's true motive, it would change the entire nature of their disagreement.
An engineer and a tribal chief become the chief suspects in the death of a Nigerian woman who died while smuggling heroin internally.
While practicing their martial arts, Leonardo tells Splinter that he is convinced that there is one combat maneuver he has yet to teach the Turtles.