Bill convinces the parents of a kidnap victim to pay the ransom, certain that Ralph can recover it when he saves their little girl. Ralph finds himself being audited by an overzealous IRS agent who's convinced he took the ransom money. Meanwhile, Ralph and Bill keep getting shot at in drive-by shootings, but by who?
When Bailey writes a news story on the Northside Children's Clinic, Les steals it and reads it on the air. This turns out to be a blow to the station's integrity in more ways than one when Bailey admits that she fictionalized part of the story.
Jonathan's vineyard partner discovers that Hart-Cabri is being sold as the more expensive Chateau St. Claire. When Cabri is murdered, the Harts investigate the fraud and murder.
The Doctor's TARDIS is stolen, and tracking it down reveals the existence of an alien named Kalid controlling events in the past. While the Doctor challenges Kalid's motives for being there, Tegan and Nyssa discover the source of Kalid's power - an even greater threat for the Doctor.
A Concorde loaded with passengers and crew vanishes into thin air. The still-grieving TARDIS crew arrive at Heathrow Airport in 1981 as the Doctor volunteers his services to solve the mystery.
After losing to the Marines once again, Colonel Potter wishes there was one sport the 4077th were any good at. When Klinger mentions he can bowl, the Colonel decides to have a bowling competition. Unfortunately, he and Klinger are the only 2 good bowlers in the camp, so BJ and Father Mulcahy are "recruited" to the team. Colonel Potter becomes obsessed with winning the game, and excludes Margaret from the team because she helped the team lose at softball. Then the 4077th team hear the Marines have got a "ringer" in their team after pulling some strings..... Meanwhile, Hawkeye finds out his father is in hospital and tries to speak to him over the phone, watched by Charles, who envies Hawkeye's close relationship with his father.
In a wild and secret bid to restore US influence in the Middle East, President Cyclips has laid plans to help the late Shah's brother regain the throne of Iran. In London a new prime minister is about to take power.
The customers are upset by Granville continually being dragged around by the ear by Arkwright
In ""Face of Love"" a young woman who is a long hardened criminal, has the chance to straighten out her life. And in ""Image of Celeste"" a young woman discovers she looks exactly like the face in a famous painting, she is determined to learn the identity of her historic double.
Nurse Charlene gives company physicals and Isaac fears for his job. Debbie brings mom Millicent to meet boyfriend Ted. Julie's cousin Carter wants to dump his fiancee Muffy for being "very nice".
Pete Begs Benson to borrow his car and when Benson finally let him, Pete comes back with the car totaled. Pete stopped a van with a couple of armed robbers using Benson's car. Everything looks great for Pete on account of his good deed, but nothing looks good for Benson who is not only out of a car, but who's insurance will not even pay for the damages. Finally, it's up to Pete, Benson, and a televised conference which may give Benson a chance to broadcast his way into coverage for his totaled car.
Bobby finds himself being questioned about Farraday's murder. The rest of the family await word about Lucy's kidnapping. Donna reveals what she found out about Jock and Sam's scheme.
In a nod to the ongoing Equal Rights Amendment debate, Lulu and Daisy co-form the Hazzard County Equal Rights Society to decry overbearing treatment from men. Lulu gets her way when she demands 50-percent control of husband Boss' used car lot. Unknown to both Lulu and Daisy, Boss has stashed stolen credit cards inside the door panels of one of the cars ... and that car so happens to be the one that Chickasaw County Sheriff "Big" Ed Little decides to buy as as a personal daily driver.
Goldblume is bitter over losing a promotion; Joyce walks out of court while defending a repeat offender; Renko learns his father is dying; a stakeout to find a con team shaking down johns proves dangerous; and Esterhaus' prize car is taken by a team of car thieves.
When Magnum encounters a guitar-playing, ten gallon hat wearer with a thick Texas drawl, who looks exactly like Higgins, he thinks he is being set up for a rip roaring gag.
Arnold doesn't know when to leave well enough alone after Willis comes to his rescue, he gets himself involved in an ""undercover"" scheme to capture the ""punks"" at school who have been harassing him.
The stories of the students and faculty of the New York City High School for the Performing Arts.
Kip's younger sister, Vickie, pays a vist...and he is totally convinced that Henry has seduced her.
The daughter of a wealthy business man is kidnapped on her 18th birthday and Police Squad swings into action. The main suspect of their investigation is the girl's boyfriend. When Frank and Ed listen to a recording of the kidnapper's demands, they hear the distinct sound of a tuba in the background, though it could also be a ship's horn. They search for a tuba store. When they do track down and find the kidnapper, the criminal fights back.
A man who was a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps is run down and killed after he recognizes the man who was his tormentor in the camp. He manages to get a message sent to his friend, Heime, before his death and he tries to convince Quincy that it was murder, not an accident. At the same time Heime, who runs a Holocaust museum, has to deal with a rich, powerful man who spends his time proclaiming that the Holocaust never happened.