Mark's girlfriend finally reveals "her" secret; Ling and Nelle represent a woman suing a relationship guru whose advice ruined the woman's marriage; Ally is dating two different men who end up being related.
After Danny gets into trouble again with the law, Sean gives him a choice of being arrested or joining the training center team. Danny reluctantly joins the rookie team, much to Leigh chagrin who openly admits that she does not trust Danny, while Jenna continues her mind games by trying to recruit Leigh under her wing.
Davis rescues a drowning newscaster from a downed helicopter, and the ensuing rush of media coverage on his heroism brings a strange young woman to meet him. She turns out to be his half-sister, and Davis uncovers secrets about his father's second family. The turmoil from the revelations causes disturbances between Davis and nearly everyone close to him. Meanwhile, someone's throwing bricks at random citizens, putting everyone in the city on edge.
Greg's big day is his birthday. Kim wants to take him and the kids to Disneyland, but Jimmy talks Greg into going out and partying like he did when he was single. Greg begins to wonder if he made the right decision after he goes cruising with Jimmy's aging frat boy friends, Chuck, Steve and Gino. While trying -- and failing -- to get into a cliquey club, Greg, Jimmy and company run into Bret Michaels from Poison. Jimmy introduces himself to Bret, and soon everybody is invited to a wild party Bret's having. Greg, out of his element, is surprised to learn that the real Bret Michaels lives the same kind of family life that Greg does, and is merely hosting the party for some of his friends who are in town. At Bret's urging, Greg returns home, realizing that the only place he should be spending his birthday is with his family.
The ANA manages to negotiate amnesty for all resistance members, Liam trys to convince resistence member Halley Simmons to take up the offer. Sandoval uses parasites to make volunteers do suicide missions against the resistance
Carol drowns her sorrows over breaking up with Nick with a ""Xanadu"" marathon; Ed represents a jittery bride-to-be who sues her hairdresser over a bad pre-wedding haircut; feeling that her relationship with Mike is in a rut, Nancy decides to spice things up by starting a book club; Ed steps forward and makes yet another bold move to win over Carol's affections, which runs into a snag and causes some misunderstandings.
Bobby becomes Strickland's personal caddy and picks up some bad habits. Meanwhile, Peggy and Minh compete to donate the most blood.
Eugene defends a man accused of murder in a trial where the outcome hinges on the honesty of a police officer who's been living a lie. Jimmy confronts a judge whose propensity for giving moral lectures to defendants has made him a laughingstock. Bobby continues preparations for the Scott Wallace retrial. This time the case is in Judge Hiller's courtroom.
Newly appointed Deputy Director Kersh organizes a manhunt for Mulder and assigns Agent John Doggett to head the team. Scully and Skinner go along with the investigation but are warned by Kersh that they will be fired if anything is said about aliens. Scully, along with the Lone Gunmen, surmise that the Bounty Hunter is trying to erase all evidence of abductions, and they realize that he may be going after Gibson Praise, who is now living at a school in Arizona. Agent Doggett comes to the same conclusion and his team race Scully and Skinner to the school where they find Mulder trying to kidnap Gibson.
When the inheritance Bender claims in the Old Country isn't quite what he expected, the Planet Express crew has to find the source of an age-old curse.
While calling Animal Control over a badger taking residence in Santa's Little Helper's doghouse, Homer discovers that Springfield has two different area codes–and ends up leading a revolt that splits the town in two.
Larry is continually thwarted in his effort to buy a bracelet as a peacemaking gift for Cheryl.
Kevin and his exploits have drawn a lot of bad press to the school, so the Board of Directors decides to force Kevin into the chess club. His chess career progresses splendidly and Kevin manages to make it to the National competition. Percy and Mom, meanwhile, discover Canadian actor Bruno Gerusi has been living in a hole in the wall behind their TV set hatching a scheme to take over American television.
Laura's mother, June, arrives in town during a geriatric traffic crime spree. June's suspiciously sudden appearance is more of an inconvenience than a pleasure for Laura, who is too caught up in her own life to sense her mother's sadness. When Laura eventually discovers her father's declining health has forced June to place him into respite care, she is forced to reassess her priorities. Max begins to spend more time with his father and his friends, learning of Pearl Bay's real, great, textured history. However, Bob has his own interpretation of the town's past and plans to turn Pearl Bay into Ye Olde Pearl Bay : a sure-fire tourism hit. Max plays along with Bob's redundant plan for his own entertainment. When judgement day arrives and the city tourist agents descend on the town, instead of letting Bob hang himself, Max turns an inevitable disastrous slide show into a tribute to the older citizens of Pearl Bay. Meanwhile Harold feels the grip of old age tightening. His frustration is w
Hal, Loi, Malcolm and Reese are trapped in a horrendous traffic jam. Francis enters himself in a bet that recalls the egg-eating wager in "Cool Hand Luke." Malcolm becomes smitten over a girl he meets. Dewey has his own little adventure--all over the world--before his family returns home.
Batman assists a genetically altered gorilla, who wants to track down his abductors.
All is vanity when Dag takes Norb's words to heart that unless you love yourself others can't love you. Dag rides his goofy vain train beyond what even narcissistic Norb could imagine.
The Beavers' annual winter bulk-up gets derailed when Dag's hyper metabolism won't let him put on weight.
Event: THREE RIVERS, CHINA 1245 AD Randal Fox, Sydney's father and a hydrodam-building engineer, beckons his daughter to China so that he can keep his word to monks. The holy men refuse to abandon Three Rivers for the dam's opening, believing their long-lost statue, the Jade Empress, is hidden in the valley. Sydney, Nigel, Randall and his young fiancée Jenny follow a trail over 700-years-old, knowing that failure means a watery death.