Against Andy's better judgment, ex-sweethearts Ephram and Madison decide it would be in Delia's best interest if Madison resumed her job as Delia's babysitter. Meanwhile, Amy contemplates going off her anti-depressant medication after Linda suggests she might be ready and Bright anxiously awaits his college acceptance letters.
Psychologist Dr. Phil makes a house call in Bernie's confessional. He counsels Bernie on how to deal with an angry Wanda, who feels left out after Bernie and his buddies bring a woman, Lynette, into their group. Meanwhile, the kids find where Bernie hides all of their dangerous toys and end up almost killing each other to keep the secret.
Bernie believes that he is the master of all pranks until his neighbor Carl Reiner, Wanda, and the kids join forces against him for the ultimate practical joke. They make Bernie believe that he accidentally killed Carl's beloved dog with rat poison. But it isn't until Ashton Kutcher comes into the picture that Bernie is put in his place.
With Drew's christening approaching, Mona and Dee Dee vie for the right to be their brother's godmother. They grow increasingly competitive as they buy him gifts and try to impress Charles and Big Dee Dee. While driving home from a shopping trip, Dee Dee takes a cheap shot at Mona when she brings up the fact that she is only Drew's half-sister. Big Dee Dee is appalled by this statement and urges Dee Dee to apologize to Mona as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Phyllis tags along to church with Mona and Spencer and begins making a play for the handsome widowed pastor. She soon finds some unexpected competition in the form of a very forceful church member who is just as determined to make the pastor her man.
The newly unemployed Joan cannot stand the idea of just sitting back and relaxing, and drives her friends crazy by constantly cooking and knitting for them. She goes to the mall, and winds up taking a job at Wienercycle. Her friends tell her that this is a very stupid idea and convince her to quit. She tries to do this, but is inspired by the teenage shift manager's take-charge attitude and decides to stay and help her. Joan tries to defend her bizarre actions as the result of her work ethic, but experiences a wake-up call when she learns that the manager isn't really as gung-ho about her job as she had appeared to be. Meanwhile, William annoys Toni, Lynn and Maya by flaunting his new $6000 pen. Toni gets revenge by swiping the pen, and the girls enjoy watching William behave like a madman as he tries to find it.
Julian gets out of jail only to discover that Ricky is the new supervisor of Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Ricky and his assistant, Bubbles, have been carrying out various illegal activities.
As the "Provocations" opening approaches, Bette struggles with a temptation. After some sad news, Dana turns to Tonya, leaving Alice unhappy. Shane tries to let Clea down gently but it backfires in her face.
Three old men from Yorkshire who have never grown up face the trials of their fellow town citizens and everyday life and stay young by reminiscing about the days of their youth and attempting feats not common to the elderly.
Michael deals with numerous requests for some unfrozen money, and chastises Lucille for being too coddling with Buster. Lindsay decides to protest the war to boost her self esteem while Tobias and Gob decide to start a coffee company.
Alma asks Hickok to investigate the tragic fallout of her husband's gold claim purchase. McCall plots revenge after being humiliated at poker. Charlie Utter departs camp for Cheyenne. Doc Cochran makes a house call to the Bella Union.
With her son's future at stake, Carmela puts in some extra time with his college advisor, Robert Wegler. Meanwhile, Tony Blundetto realizes it's hard doing business with strangers, and A.J. concludes there's no place like home.
Ginger is throwing a party for Darren that every kid in the school wants to attend. But when Lois and Joann Bishop get into a fight at the grocery store over the last Easter ham on the shelf, Joann bans Hoodsey and Dodie from seeing Carl and Ginger.
Sue tries to help a holocaust survivor find the man that killed her parents 60 years ago. Sue realizes that the case soon becomes personal for her after learning what Helga suffered as a result of being in a concentration camp. Sue learns that 60% of the estimated 6 million Jews that were killed were also considered "" Detective "" because of being deaf or having some other kind of handicap. Helga tells Sue that a man named Otto Zimmer killed her parents. As Helga and Sue are playing cards Otto Zimmer is spotted outside Sue Jack and Helga trying to run after the cab to catch him. Helga describes for Sue and Jack what the past 60 years were like for her and realizing that she not only saw her parents and sister killed, she also learns that even the capture of the man that took the lives of her parents and sister are only just the beginning of healing 60 years worth of pain.
The Spencers are trapped in their house after a massive snow storm covered half of the house.
Sydney and Jack warn a disbelieving Vaughn about their suspicions of Lauren being the CIA mole. Meanwhile, Bomani and Sark take possession of the Rambaldi machine, Sydney and Vaughn must stop a Covenant virus that's crippling medical facilities around the world, Sloane's secret is revealed to Jack, and Bomani begins to lose faith in Lauren's ability to carry out her Covenant missions.
Edward and Alphonse fear for their lives when they come face to face with Izumi Curtis, their former teacher, who brings them back to Dublith.
Following the Von Braun crisis, Hachimaki sinks into deep depression and wanders on the lunar surface. He returns to Earth for a holiday, only to encounter Tanabe, who was paralyzed during the Von Braun crisis.
Casey Jones joins the sport of Super Slam Hockey. However it turns personal when a legendary 17th century Golden Puck is taken by crooks. Can the Turtles hold Casey in line long enough to find the Puck, or will the hardcore rules of Super Slam Hockey get to them first?
Danny uses his "overshadowing" power to take control of his Dad during a parent-teacher conference, but the plan backfires when Jack Fenton is invited to chaperone the school dance. At the same time a ghostly amulet turns the girl with whom Danny is smitten into a dragon, and he must alternately control his Dad and fight the ghost dragon!