The director of Weasel and I.R.'s cartoons does nothing but stealing old clichés from classic cartoons.
It is the day before Dick's birthday and he has ordered Sally, Harry and Tommy to throw him a surprise party. When in class he meets a woman called Charlotte Everly who appears to be very taken by his 'brilliance'. Charlotte first claims to be auditing his class, then later claims to be a reporter, then an intellectual groupie. She and her son wangle her way into his birthday plans, cancel his party and lock the guests that do arrive in the basement. She then reveals to Dick that she knows that Dick is an alien - and she wants to cut him open. Kathy Bates' appearance in this episode spoofed her role in the film Misery, when Dick refers to her as his "number one fan".
Noel and Felicity are driven to distraction when Sean, seeking a selling angle for his documentary, latches onto their shattered relationship and pesters them to discuss their feelings on-camera.
After building a go-cart for Calvin and Juicy, Thurgood accidentally destroys it and buries the evidence, so it appears to have been stolen. Then he's put in charge of the investigation.
It's Nikki and Mike's four-month anniversary. James is still the only person who knows, but he wants to tell. Stuart takes Carter's job for a day, helping the mayor deal with various ethnic groups. James develops a rash from keeping the secret. Mike prepares for a magazine interview, but during the interview, the reporter's focus shifts to Carter. Stuart enlists Stacy's help with the ethnic groups. James spills the beans.
The nominations for the annual Femmy awards are in and Maya, Nina and Elliott are nominated, while Finch isn't even invited to the ceremony. Jack switched Maya's nominated article and nominated a picture of Elliott's that was actually taken by a chimpanzee. At the dinner, Finch scores a seat at the models' table while Maya and Nina prepare speeches. Elliott is going crazy with guilt until he loses. Nina wins after 12 straight years of losing. Maya wins for the article, which Nina trashed in her acceptance speech.
The staff prepares for the annual softball game against the magazine Cosmo. Jack hires Steve Garvey, so that he can play on the team. Maya turns out to be a great pitcher but becomes too competitive.
In a land where everyone has the opportunity to make a fortune, it seems that now it's Elaine's turn - it appears that her invention, the "Face Bra", might be a hit. Unfortunately, Elaine's family sues her for royalties claiming that Elaine stole the idea from her cousin Martha just before Martha's untimely death. Ally agrees to represent Elaine but when depositions appear to nail Elaine, Georgia is the first to suggest they settle. Elaine is crushed: first her family turns on her, now her colleagues are ready to abandon her. Billy and Ling are defending a computer software firm on sexual harassment charges emanating from the company's "Day at the Beach" casual days at the office. Even though participation is voluntary, Vicky Sharpe, a slightly overweight employee felt she had no choice but to participate or risk being singled out as a non-participant. John Cage remains a man transformed by his thirty-fifth birthday.
April tries to save Manny from himself after he suffers a life-altering back injury during a rescue. April then decides to take Manny's place with Hobie in a boat race with the other lifeguards from Baywatch.
Becker reluctantly agrees to shuttle Reggie, Margaret, Jake and Linda to various engagements in Queens when they learn that he's heading that way in his car. It quickly becomes a "what-was-I-thinking" scenario for the gang when Becker's terroristic skills behind the wheel cause an accident. Even More Shameless Crossover Monday winds up when Dr. Becker returns to his office waiting room to find Hilton Lucas, Doug Heffernan and Ray Barone -- side-by-side -- waiting.
Matrix and the gang finally return to Mainframe only to discover it has been almost destroyed by Megabyte. We learn what the resistance has been doing all this time and the plan to finally save their home.
Gabrielle becomes Queen of the Amazons after Ephiny dies at the hand of Brutus, and Xena must fave Caesar and Pompey and their armies while keeping an eye on a rebellious Amazon.
Tony orders Amanda to distract Peter throughout the cruise so that he can put the moves on Eve. Amanda accompanies Peter on a day trip to an island and ensures that they miss the boat. Tony tells Eve that Amanda promised her to him as part of their deal. Eve causes him great pain, and later ends her friendship with Amanda. Peter and Amanda sleep together and confess that they have never gotten over each other. Lexi decides to seduce Tony to steal his account, much to Michael's dismay. Ignoring a threat from Tony's unstable wife, she destroys the film from Amanda's commercial, before coming on to Tony and asking him to keep her in mind as a second choice. Terry has a social worker take Sarah away from Ryan. Ryan defends Terry against allegations of child abuse. Terry allows Ryan to have custody of Sarah, but will stay with them for the summer. Megan notices that Terry seems a bit too affectionate toward Ryan. Kyle and Jane move very quickly in their relationship.
Doug and Carrie try desperately to ship Arthur off to friends for the weekend so they can enjoy some intimate time together, but no one's eager to take him.
Young, urban newlyweds Paul and Jamie Buchman try to sustain their marital bliss while sidestepping the hurdles of love in the '90s.
After Augur's friend implodes, due to ID space inside him, Augur meets a beautiful woman, Beverly Wu, who hires him to engineer a weapon of mass destruction, called Forge in Antarctica. Zu'or tells Da'an that the latest battle with the Jaridians has ended badly and they are retreating. Zu'or wants to activate the Forge to strike at the Jaridians while they regroup. Da'an is against using Earth as a base for attacking, but Zo'or overrules him. Doors says Augur is in trouble if he's working with Beverly. Liam tries to get information on Forge from Da'an, who refuses to answer. Augur, falling in love, thinks the project may turn earth into a blackhole. The worm hole between earth and the Jaridian Empire stays open too long in-between firings.
Eric Camden, a minister, and his wife Annie deal with the drama of having seven children, ranging from toddlers to adults with families of their own.
When Ray and Debra realize they're nicer to strangers than to each other, they vow to change their ways.
While on a stakeout of a Government Defense Convention in Las Vegas, The Lone Gunmen are reunited with Susanne Modeski, the mysterious woman who disappeared ten years earlier when they first met Agent Mulder.
Chris loses interest in being a youth scout, as he would rather pursue drawing and art instead. The Scout Master then kicks Chris out of the scouts. Peter then takes the family to the Big Apple to try to get Chris reinstated back into the scouts. After Peter takes a wrong turn on the way, the family ends up at a Native American casino. Lois then gets obsessed with the slot machines while Peter goes on a vision quest to prove that he has Native American blood in him.