Al gets a job modeling on a TV commercial, only to discover it was re-dubbed as a phone-sex ad.
Gene Starwind is a jack-of-all-trades stuck on a rundown planet with his partner, Jim. Without a ship to call his own, Gene is going nowhere fast. But things change when a mysterious woman shows up with a not-so-simple job.
Urkel apprentices as a teppanyaki chef at a Japanese restaurant and makes his cooking debut in front of Laura. Meanwhile, Carl bird-sits for the commissioner.
Cory's upset that Alan engages only in conversation with him, but plays sports with Eric. So Alan and Eric take Cory sky diving. Afterward, Cory's better, but Eric's hurt that he and Alan don't communicate.
A million dollar bounty on Nash's head triggers an onslaught of attacks by a series of ultimate fighters. Michelle meets ""Mr. Right"" while on a stake out trying to trackdown an Internet rapist. Nash is convinced Cassidy's new boyfriend in gay.
Serial murders in the guise of assisted suicides stymie Frank, whose primary suspect is a charismatic hospice nurse. Frank and Lara investigate to determine if it is murder.
Lt. Barker recruits JC and Moreno to get the armored-car robber who killed Eddie and MacNamara.
Dr. Anspaugh's 13-year-old son is brought in and Anspaugh asks Mark to look after him. Another old lady who has been raped is brought in.
Stardate: 51408.6. After being attacked by Cardassian forces, Sisko gets stranded with a very psychotic Gul Dukat, who was being transported to his trial. Meanwhile the crew of the Defiant races to rescue survivors.
When Steve is shot and falls into a coma, Mark does all in his power to find the assailant, even threatening a suspect with bodily harm. Mark finds himself the prime suspect when Steve's alleged attacker, Gordon Ganza, is murdered and all clues point directly towards Dr. Sloan.
Phoebe considers her options when her brother visits with his new wife and asks her to carry their child. Joey works as a tour guide at Ross's museum and tries to tear down the walls between tour guides and scientists. And Chandler seeks advice from Monica and Rachel after he fears that he will not live up to Kathy's sexual expectations--especially since the last guy she slept with before him was Joey.
At a car dealership, Kramer takes a test drive, while Jerry's deal is threatened by a fight between Elaine and Puddy.
Val has two tickets for Michael Bolton's album premiere party, so Fran asks Mr. Sheffield on a romantic date. She's terrified with a weird rash that appeared all over her body, and rushes to the hospital after Mr. Sheffield decides to take her up to a room for their first intimate night together. She gets a cortisone shot from an inexperienced doctor, which makes Fran swells like a balloon. The romantic night is ruined, thanks to Sylvia's squash-filled pasta that gave Fran the allergic reaction.
Emma is upset to see Kelly wearing a watch that she had given to Brandon. Dr. Monahan forces Kelly out of the clinic. Emma suggests that she expose him, so Kelly turns on the intercom as Monahan makes another pass at her. Brandon barges in, and the foundation immediately fires Monahan, who will be replaced by Donna's father. Brandon asks Emma to leave the newspaper. She records a phone conversation in which he admits to sleeping with her, and uses the tape to blackmail him. Brandon and Steve hire a new assistant, Janet Sosna; and bring David aboard as a music reviewer. Donna is relieved when David reveals that his relationship with Valerie is a sham. David and Val get back together that day, and Donna plans to sleep with Noah as revenge. Noah nixes this idea, but then uses a private concert by Brian McKnight to get her into bed. Valerie cuts a deal with a bookie operating at the After Dark. Carly and Zach move in with Donna while their house undergoes some renovations. Zach inadvertent
The Buzz Beer tank explodes, causing beer to rain down all over the Clemens' yard. Drew invites them over for dinner to convince them not to sue. Janet talks Greg into investing in Buzz Beer so the gang can replace the tank. Greg agrees on the condition he can call all the shots. The gang is forced to work constantly so Drew decides to get Greg drunk to loosen him up.
Greg's latest legal victory leaves him depressed in the middle of the office celebration, so Dharma suggests that maybe Greg should quit and ""follow his bliss."" It turns out that Greg's suppressed passion is for cooking, so he informs his disturbed parents that he is starting a new career as a short-order cook in a hamburger joint. This prompts Edward to confession his own secret talent: hairdressing.
A champagne filled New Year's celebration at the Mayor's mansion gets out of control, resulting in more than a little embarrassment the next day, especially for Mike and Nikki. On the big night, Nikki's date, Jay, two-times her and a protective Mike not only gets even--he gets Nikki. Meanwhile, Stuart is undone over the death of his family cat and Stacy makes James question his own virility.
Dick hurts himself playing in a wheelchair, which puts him in one for real; Dubcek's daughter Vicki opts for celibacy, much to Harry's chagrin.